48: Wish

Shyba—

As I step through the entrance to the table area Kiara snaps her head up, looking at me as if she were being stabbed. I stand with clenched fists as I try to catch my breath, trying to gather the strength to say the words I’ve wanted to say for too long.

She stares at me, before quickly standing. “S-sorry, I can’t do this right now!” she squeaks, grabbing her bag and stuffing her book inside.

“Matte!” I say, blocking her path.

More tears flood her eyes. “Just let me go! I can’t! I’m so embarrassed!”

“Kiara, please,” I say, still gasping for breath.

“Just forget it! I already know, okay?” she cries. “If you’re here to just say you don’t feel the same way o-or can’t be in a relationship because of everything else, I already know. Y-you don’t have to tell me! And it’s okay! I promise it’s okay! S-so please don’t worry, okay?”

She then tries to go around me, but I block her again. “J-just a moment,” I mutter breathlessly.

“Just let me go,” she sobs. “I don’t wanna talk about it! Just forget it happened!”

After I don’t budge, she looks up at me like she’s drowning. Then she looks down, clutching her bag. “I-I’m such a terrible friend,” she whimpers. “I didn’t mean to dump all my stupid feelings on you. I-I didn’t mean for this to happen!”

“Kiara,” I mutter. “Just—”

She tosses her bag at me and as I am scrambling to catch it, she takes off down the sidewalk. For a second, I am dumbfounded, before I steel my gaze and set my jaw. I toss her bag across my shoulder and take off after her. But the red roses lining the walkway catch my attention and I skid to a stop. My eyes rove over them, picking out the best one. The one that’s just beginning to open. I take it, placing it securely in the side pocket of her bag before resuming my pursuit.

Part of me feels bad for continuing to chase her. Maybe I should just let her cool off? It’s not like she won’t come home at some point and then she might be more willing to talk. But I can’t let her keep feeling like this. I can’t let her keep thinking she did something wrong, or that I’m going to reject her. She’s been rejected time and time again. I have to show her that this time is different.

As I follow her, I stay back a bit, letting her feel a bit more comfortable. She skids to a stop at the fork to go to either the parking lot or the gazebo. She starts to head toward her car but stops to pat her pockets and realizes she doesn’t have her keys. Then she turns, and I remain hidden behind a tree. Thinking she’s lost me; she takes off toward the gazebo.

I give her a bit more distance, hoping she will calm down a bit. By the time I get to the gazebo she is sitting on the bench inside, bawling into her hands. My heart feels like it’s being twisted. This is all my fault. I took too long to tell her and now she’s in so much pain.

My heart throbs as I step into the gazebo, and she keeps her head down. “Kiara, I…” I whisper, still trying to figure out the words.

She takes a deep breath and tries to juggernaut her way through me, but I snap my arm out across the doorway. She rebounds, a determined look on her face and spins, attempting to climb out of the gazebo. But she doesn’t make it over the rail as I grab the strap to her overalls.

“Kia—”

“Let go!” she demands.

I huff. “No,” I say, and she freezes. “I am putting my foot down.”

“Now isn’t the time for this!” she cries and tries to jerk forward, but there’s no way in hell I’m letting her go now.

“Your wish—”

“You don’t have to worry about it!” she says. “I know you want to make good on it, but you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, and I was stupid for using my wish selfishly! B-but you weren’t even supposed to see it, so you can ignore it!”

I give a low growl. “Kuso,” I grumble. “Always stubborn! Just listen!”

“I already know what you’re going to say!” she snaps. “You need to let me go! And give me my bag!”

“You think you can outrun me?” I ask.

Everything is silent for a moment, and I hear her holding back sobs. My heart twists even more. I take a ragged breath, tears in my eyes. I went about this completely wrong. Maybe I should have just waited until she calmed down. Ugh, I’m so stupid! Still, I must correct this immediately.

I set her bag down on the bench and step forward, loosening the pull on her overalls. “I will let you go, but you have to turn around and hear what I have to say.”

She sobs. “Jerk,” she whimpers. Slowly, she turns around as I release her. She keeps her head down, sitting on the railing and holding the post with one hand while wiping her eyes with the other. “You’re being such a jerk.”

Seeing her like this makes my throat ache. “I know. I’m sorry.”

What do I say now? Out of the thousands of things I want to tell her, how do I choose which one first? As she softly sniffs and wipes her eyes, I can’t bring any words to mind. All I know is how much I want to wipe away her tears.

She gasps for breath. “Wh-why are you doing this?” she whimpers. “Why are you m-making me… A-after admitting my feelings.” She breaks down sobbing. “Why do I have to hear you reject me? Y-you of all people…!”

“I already knew,” I mutter.

“Oh god,” she sobs and covers her face with her hands. “I’m so sorry! Oh my god, I can’t believe how stupid I am! That’s why you were avoiding me!”

“Stop,” I demand gently. “You are not stupid.” Quietly, I come closer, resting my knee on the bench. “Look at me,” I say softly.

She chokes a sob, shaking her head. “I-I can’t.”

As I watch her, I let out a slow breath. I reach up to take her hand and stop. My hand trembles. I take a deep breath, calming my nerves. I can do this. I won’t bloody her hands just by holding them.

I swallow and as my fingers brush hers, she gasps. My breath stops as I pull her hand from her face, wrapping my fingers around hers and gently stroking her knuckles with my thumb. Wow. Her hand is so warm and soft. And small compared to mine.

“Sh-Shyba?” she whimpers. Her cheeks are such a wonderful shade of red.

Our hands lightly tremble together as my eyes are glued to hers. With my other hand I take the rose from her bag and hold it up before her. My heart pounds, my face flushed. “I’m not here to reject you,” I whisper.

“But… I-I thought…” Her eyes dart to the rose and back to me before she sobs again.

I lean closer. “Shhhh,” I whisper softly. “I-I’m sorry. I know I messed up. I’m so sorry.”

“I-I… I’m scared,” her voice breaks. “I-I didn’t expect this…”

I swallow and squeeze her hand, my heart doing cartwheels. “Me too,” I mutter. “I… I’ve been so scared I pushed you away. I realize now that you felt like I was rejecting you but the whole time I thought it was for your own good. I thought I wasn’t good enough for you.”

My throat clenches. “A-and maybe I’m not. But I will be. I will learn. So please let me. I… I-I want to be with you.”

She gazes up at me as if entranced, spurring me on. I don’t want to stop talking. I want her to know everything.

“I have always cared for you but then it… changed and I didn’t notice at first. A-and I was afraid because you did not know the truth yet and I thought you would not feel the same if you knew. It overwhelmed me.”

“A-and I’m sorry. So sorry,” I mutter. “I knew about your feelings and left you alone with them. I did not realize how much you were hurting, so I am sorry, and I will do anything to make it right. I am here now, and I promise my feelings are real.”

She sobs at my words.

I lean closer. “I am here now, and I am ready to do this with you. I-if you still want to.”

She slowly nods her head and takes the rose. “I want to. I want to be with you too.”

I let those words replay in my mind. She really wants me. I can’t stop the gentle smile appearing on my face. “Okay. Then we will.”

I gently dry her eyes as she turns as red as my gaze. For a moment, I forget about my fear of touching her as I watch her actually enjoying it. Before I realize, my hand is cupping her cheek, and I stroke her soft skin, her clutching my hand making my heart throb.

We allow ourselves to silently savor this moment, taking in each other’s presence in this new, exciting, and terrifying way. My heart won’t stop pounding. I can’t believe it. I finally told her. I get to be hers. And she is mine.

She slowly reaches up. “Can I touch your face too?”

My eyes widen a bit, and the thought makes my heart want to do a flip. “O-okay,” I stutter, my face feeling as if it could burn her hand.

Ever so gently she lays her palm against the side of my face for the first time. Her touch almost feels like lightning went through me, cementing me to the ground. As she slowly caresses my cheek with her thumb, a small gasp escapes my lips. What is this wonderful sensation?

I stare at her, wide-eyed until this soothingly warm feeling melts me. I never knew she could do this to me. Tears well up as I shut my eyes. I’d always pushed her away, afraid for her to touch me. But now… Now I don’t want her to stop.

She brushes away my tears. “Shyba,” her gentle voice whispers, and I look up. “Watashi-tachi wa… mae kara tomodachi dakedo, j-jitsu wa suki ni natta. Ah… a-anata wa suki desu. Anata no koto ga… daisuki desu.”

Her words pierce my soul, settling deep within me. My heart is overflowing. The next thing I know my lips are against her forehead, kissing her once and then twice as if I just had to. Then my arms are around her and I clutch her to me. As her arms wrap around me, I let out a sigh. Is this what having a soulmate feels like?

After a moment I pull back, gazing at her, going over everything that just happened. It really happened. I even kissed her. Oh my god, I kissed her! Heat returns to my face.

“A-ah, I am sorry if k-kissing you was too much. I g-got carried away.” I swallow. “Ah, well, you did say in the message you wanted a kiss, so it wasn’t too much?”

Her cheeks flare and she drops her face into her hands. “Oh, I’m still so embarrassed about that stupid message!”

I can’t help but chuckle. “I suppose we are even since I got sick trying to set the mood to tell you all this.”

She looks up at me through her fingers. “At the fair?”

I nod. “Mm. Jer set us up so I could tell you. B-but I didn’t know until we got there hehe… I tried to tell you on the Ferris wheel and couldn’t get the words out.”

For a moment we are gazing at each other, as if time is standing still. I reach up, taking her hand again, not breaking her gaze. “I am sorry it took me so long,” I say softly.

She glances down, swallowing. “I’m sorry I pushed you into it.”

I shake my head. “No, I already decided to tell you today. You just brought me here faster.”

She looks back up at me and I smile. Slowly, she leans into me, laying her head on my shoulder. The warmth in my chest spreads and I wrap my arms around her, nuzzling my face into her shoulder. My face is warm as she clutches my jacket in such an adorable way. I take in everything, her warmth, her scent, the way she breathes against me.

I pick her up off the railing, stepping back to the middle of the gazebo and spinning. She starts laughing, the sound like music to my ears, and I chuckle. After a moment I set her down, keeping her in my arms.

“So… now what?” she asks.

“Ah, a date?” I ask. “I will take you where you want.”

“B-but I’m not dressed for a date!” she stammers.

My brows arch as I smile. “You are cute.” It couldn’t be any truer. It doesn’t matter if she is in her PJs with messy hair, a princess costume, or a cherry blossom dress. She is always cute.

Her face flushes again and she glances down at the cutoff overalls and old sneakers she wears. “You think so?”

I nod. “Mm.”

She beams up at me. “Okay. Let’s go. Um… I know you just ate and I’m not super hungry.”

“Mmm… Ice cream?”

Her eyes light up and she nods. “Yeah! That’s perfect!”

She grabs her bag and as we step out of the gazebo the path is lit with solar lights. It is already almost dark, the sunset painting the sky red and orange. Everything feels a bit surreal. We entered the gazebo as friends then left as a couple. Wow… We’re a couple. I have a girlfriend.

“Kiara,” I mutter my cheeks probably as red as my eyes. “Can I… hold your hand while we walk?”

She smiles and holds out her hand. “Anytime. You don’t have to ask.”

Gently, I take her hand. The feeling sends tingles up my arm. Please, tell me this isn’t just a dream! As we walk, I can’t wipe the smile from my face. I’m on cloud nine.

We get to the entrance of the park, walking out into the parking lot to find Jeremiah and Nicky waiting by Kiara’s car. They see us hand-in-hand and their faces light up, my heart pounding, but not wanting to let go of her hand. They start whooping and making kissy noises. My face goes entirely red. I’m gonna kill them. Well, not actually.

“Aww yeah! He finally did it!” Jeremiah shouts.

“Our fledging is spreading his wings!” Nicky fake cries.

I let out an irritated huff and turn to her with a sweet smile. “Excuse me.” Then I take off after them with eyes of steel. “You can’t run from me!”

They scream and run around the car, onto the grass of the park. I follow them, jumping over the hood of the car and in a few swift movements I have them both in a headlock.

“Oh no, someone help!” Nicky yells between cackles.

“I’m terrified!” Jeremiah laughs.

I hear Kiara start laughing, my heart fluttering once again. I stare dryly, before laughing. The guys reach back and lift me up by the legs to toss me over. They really thought they had me, didn’t they? I correct myself quickly, flipping back and landing on my feet. Then with a swift movement I sweep their legs out from under them, and they fall to the ground with an audible thud.

I grin. “Good try.”

They sit up and we all look at each other. Then we all start laughing again. After what feels like ages, we finally manage to settle down. As we get back to our feet, we punch each other in the arms.

“Why were you waiting?” I ask.

“Well, we were actually going to leave you alone, but we figured you might need this,” Nicky says, pulling my wallet out of his pocket and handing it to me.

My eyes widen. “Ehhh? I didn’t know it was gone,” I say as I pocket it. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, it was on the floor by your chair. Must have fell out when you jumped the railing,” Jeremiah says.

Kiara gasps, turning to me. “You jumped off the balcony?!”

I grin sheepishly. “Yes?”

“You could have broken your legs! That’s terrifying!”

“I did it all the time in Tokyo from higher places,” I mutter. I glance around at all their shocked faces and pause. “That is not normal?”

“Not really,” Nicky says.

I glance downward. “Hn.” How would I not know this? Is it really that big a deal? “I guess with all the training I had to do it is easy for me.”

Jeremiah gasps. “Ohhhh, that’s why you were so quick getting on and off the roof at Hank’s! I thought I was going crazy!”

I nod and look at Kiara. “I will not do it anymore if it scares you.”

“Oh, well, I mean… if you say you’re used to it then it should be fine… but I-I just would hate to see you get hurt,” she says, gazing at me.

I shake my head and give her a gentle smile. “It’s okay. I do not want you to worry.”

As I gaze at her I resolve myself to this promise. I don’t want her worrying. The streetlights turn on, lighting up her face. The way her eyes sparkle has me entranced.

Nicky coughs. “Well, uh, we should get going. You two have fun.”

The trance is suddenly broken, and I blush, Kiara doing the same. “R-right.”

We watch as they leave, and I turn back to her. I gaze for a moment before gently taking her hand again. She smiles, curling her fingers around my hand. I smile, tilting my head then lead her onto the sidewalk. As we make our way to the creamery, I am silent, unable to believe this is happening and taking in every moment with her hand in mine.

Translations:

“Kuso.” = Shit.

“Watashi-tachi wa mae kara tomodachi dakedo, jitsu wa suki ni natta.” =

We’ve been friends for a while now, but truth is, I started to like you in a different way.

“Anata wa suki desu.” = I love you.

“Anata no koto ga daisuki desu.” = I love everything in you.