17: Truth

We get back out onto the street and not a word is spoken between us. Nicky starts to waver, and I move to catch him. But he cringes and withdraws away from me. I stuff my hands in my pockets, lowering my head. He must despise me so much right now. I am used to this, so why do I feel so dejected?

Jeremiah takes hold of Nicky, keeping him steady the rest of the way back. My thoughts return to the Red Dragon poster. After everything that’s happened, and the way Nicky refuses to make eye contact with me, I know something needs to be done. However, I must first make sure they tell no one about Red Dragon, but I still don’t know how to go about it.

We get back to the apartment and go inside. I take my shoes off and take the seat nearest the door as Jeremiah sets Nicky on the couch. He examines and starts cleaning the blood off Nicky’s face, receiving suppressed groans of pain. Once the blood is gone, I can see a slight cut below Nicky’s eye where his glasses were jammed into his cheek. He also has a split lip and several bruises.

Silently, Jeremiah goes back into the kitchen and after a few moments of rummaging around, comes back with a few bags of ice. He wordlessly hands one to me also. I stare down at it for a moment before putting it to the tender part of my face. I can feel it throbbing now that the adrenaline is wearing off, not to mention wherever else I was hit. However, this pain is nothing new. Odd to feel something familiar after this long.

Jeremiah sits next to Nicky and puts the bag of ice against his eye. He takes a deep breath and for a moment all is silent. My eyes fall on Nicky, but his gaze continues to dodge mine as he holds the ice bag to his cheek.

I break the silence. “I am sorry.” They finally look at me. “This is because of me. I did not want anyone hurt.”

Jeremiah leans forward a bit. “Listen, Dustin is an ass. He’s doing this because you gave him a reason. Not that it’s a good reason,” he says. “Besides that, you really saved us back there.”

“It wouldn’t have happened in the first place had he not challenged them to begin with,” Nicky grumbles.

Jeremiah nudges him. “You should thank him for taking that hit for you,” he says, his voice straining in a weird way. “He saved us, Nicky.”

Nicky’s gaze continues to avoid me. “Thank you.” His voice is cold.

I continue to watch them, questioning the strange way Jeremiah spoke. Then it dawns on me. During the past few days Jeremiah has been strangely kind to me. He was nice before, but after he found out about Red Dragon he has been more so, as if walking on eggshells around me. My breath becomes sparse as I begin to connect the dots.

“I do not deserve thanks,” I say.

“Why not?” Jeremiah asks. “That was actually kind of cool what you did. All the karate stuff. Was that karate?”

I pause and take a deep breath, staring at the floor. “I… know you are afraid.”

“Of karate?”

My heart pounds. I set the ice pack down. My hand quivers as I pull the wanted poster out of my jacket pocket and unfold it before them. “Of… me…”

The silence is overwhelming. Then I hear Jeremiah stand suddenly. He leaps across the table and makes a mad dash for his bag, reaching inside and pulling out a revolver. I drop the paper and raise my hands, if only to give them more sense of security. I never would have guessed he would pull a gun on me. Then again, he has too much to lose and everything to protect. Just like I used to.

“Nicky, call the police,” he says, pulling the hammer back.

My heart leaps into my throat. “No! You must not! Please, let me explain,” I say, looking between the two of them, my breath short. I look at Nicky, who already has the phone in his hand. “If you call them, you will be in danger. All of you.”

“Why should we believe you?” he asks. “You threatening us?”

I pause, trying to think. “If I wanted to kill you, you would be dead.”

They glance at each other, yet neither one of them moves. My heart pounds so hard I can hear it. I look over at Jeremiah. What can I say to make them believe me?

“Shoot me, but do not talk of Red Dragon. If you do you could be killed. Forget I was here,” I plead.

Jeremiah furrows his brow a bit. “Why do you care?”

I pause. “You all helped me even when you did not know me. Even with my appearance your family has been kind to me. I… want to repay it,” I tell them.

“Don’t fall for his bullshit, Jer,” Nicky says.

Jeremiah stares at me for a moment. “Okay, say I believe you. Why would we be in any more danger than we already are with you here?”

I stare at the floor, the words not wanting to form, but I know I must tell them. Would they believe me? I take a long, deep breath, as if it could somehow calm my nerves and give me a moment to gather my thoughts.

“Since I was a child, I was in the Domain. I… was taught martial arts and how to shoot. I was given a gun, and the name, ‘Red Dragon’. They told me if I tried to run away, they would kill me… but before that they would make me suffer. I knew they would… b-because I… They… a-already…”

Before I realize it, my arms have wrapped themselves around my torso and I can feel my breath becoming shallower. Why do I tell them this? I had never told anyone these things before. Then again, I had never been in this situation before.

“If they learn I was here, that you know, I am afraid it will happen to you,” I tell him.

After a moment, I hear the hammer being carefully clicked back into place. Jeremiah slowly lowers the gun and Nicky looks over at him wide-eyed.

“What are you doing, Jer? He’s trying to manipulate us!” Nicky says.

Jeremiah continues to stare at me. “You never wanted to kill anyone, did you?”

My throat aches as I timidly croak out the words, “I never wanted any of it.”

Nicky falls back against the couch. “I can’t believe you’re falling for this.”

“Nick, think about it. He’s never even tried to hurt any of us. The only times he’s fought is when we were being attacked. Even in the case with you he thought you were a thief,” he tells him. “And I’m pretty sure he could’ve killed us at any time now.” He looks at me. “Right?”

I glance between the two of them. “…yes.”

He turns back to Nicky. “See?”

“That doesn’t change the fact that he’s a murderer! Plus, he’s here illegally! He hasn’t even tried to explain that,” he says in a loud whisper.

Jeremiah returns his attention to me. “Explain.”

“I do not know how I came here,” I tell him. “My last… eto… target somehow knew I was coming. I was… ah… knocked asleep and then I wake up here.”

As they take a moment to sift through their doubts, I consider what could have happened during the time I blacked out. Suddenly, I get a stabbing pain in my head and wince. Every time I try to remember, my head begins to hurt… Is my brain keeping me from these memories? How bad could it have been if that is the case?

“Why knock you out instead of just killing you? That doesn’t make sense,” Nicky jibes.

I find myself staring at the floor and subconsciously reach over, covering my brand. “Because I am Master’s property… and if they know he killed me he will be tortured and then killed,” I mutter. “I think he wanted me killed where Master would not find me.”

“This ‘Master’ is the leader of the organization?” Jeremiah asks and I simply nod.

Jeremiah leans back a bit, though keeps hold of the gun. “What about going to the police?”

I feel my jaw clench, my stomach tight. “The Domain is everywhere. In the police and government.”

Nicky huffs. “Okay. So why does this person want you to kill? If they want people to die, why not do it themselves, huh?”

I find myself staring at the floor again. “I do not know. I ask the same question many times,” I mutter. “I… know nothing of why I killed them. They were not all innocent, but still, I… With my own hands I killed them not knowing a reason. I do not know how I can… fix it.” My hands tremble as I stare at them. “But if I did not do it, I would be punished. They took everything else.”

Without realizing, I am clutching at my chest again. It is like my heart is ripping apart. All these words I had never voiced before. Somehow, I feel a bit of weight off my shoulders, but still, it is like a storm in my mind. For a moment, everything is silent as I try to steady my breath.

Nicky slowly sets the phone on the table and without looking up he says, “You aren’t someone else’s property.”

There is a stabbing pain in my heart, the brand on my arm like a lead weight. Can that really be true?

Jeremiah starts unloading the bullets from the gun. “Will these people come looking for you?”

“Much time has passed. They should already come for me.”

“Do you think they will find you?” he presses.

This is something I have contemplated over quite a bit the past few weeks. “I… had to meet Master after taking out the target. I know after they see I was missing they went to him,” I tell them. “They would torture him to find me. I know he would tell them what happened, where he sent me. But they still have not come.”

I sit up a bit. “The reason I think is that he died or ran away before they could get information. They should have already found me.”

“Hmph. They would never think to look in California of all places for a dragon,” Nicky grumbles. He gasps shortly, covering his mouth with wide eyes. “Sorry. I have a bad habit of being sarcastic at the wrong time.”

I look back to the floor. “What you say is true, I believe.”

Jeremiah places the gun back into his bag along with the bullets. “Well, I’m ready for nachos,” he says, standing.

“You will not say anything?” I ask.

He takes a deep breath and looks over at me. “I won’t tell anyone. I believe you’re telling me the truth and I understand that if word gets out a lot of bad shit’s gonna happen,” he says. “All I care about is that my family is safe.”

“Same here,” Nicky says.

It is as if a portion of the unbearable weight of this secret leaves me. This demon could no longer haunt me. In front of these two, at least. “Thank you.”

Jeremiah then comes to loom over me, staring down at me with eyes like steel. “But if it does turn out that you’re crazy and you hurt my family, you will wish I had shot you just now. Are we clear?”

I fixate my eyes upon his steely gaze to assure him my words are genuine. “I mean no harm. All I want is to not return to Japan.”

He nods and picks up the wanted poster. Then he goes into the kitchen. “But you do need to let Mama know about this to some extent. She needs to know what she’s getting into by letting you stay, and I can assure you she won’t tell a soul,” he says, lighting the paper on fire with a match and holding it over the sink, letting it burn out of existence.

My eyes return to the floor. “That will not be a problem.”

I am no longer welcome anyway. I broke Reba’s rule.

Translations:

“…eto…” = (eh-toe) This is a Japanese filler word, like “uh” or “um”.